I don’t trust my dishes to just anyone. No, I am not shilling for dishwashing detergent. I grew up without a dishwasher so washing dirty dishes by hand was my introduction to helping out in the kitchen. As I got older, I was promoted to cleaning vegetable, cooking rice, making simple main courses. By now I’ve been running my home kitchen for years. The progression shares some similarities with a commercial kitchen, doesn’t it?
The unspoken rule at my house is that the one who cook doesn’t need to clean. That is why I learned to wash under the watchful eyes of my Dad. Likewise, Little Brother takes care of all the dirty dishes for our weekend family dinners. Unfortunately, that system doesn’t work so well with visiting guests. Let me explain.
I am not that inhospitable hostess who forces her guests to do dishes if you’re invited to my home. Having said that, I do appreciate help from significant other after a casual dinner at my place. However, after too many dishwashing-related fits of grumpiness on my part, I realize “it’s not you, it’s me”.
How hard can it be to wash a few dishes clean?
Martial Arts Master prides himself as the official family dishwasher for years. I attended his family dinners many times and certainly can attest to the complexity of the task. The deliciousness of the food was proportional to the amount of dirty dishes and family dinner at his place was always a feast. I couldn’t complain about his thoroughness and how the dishes were all squeaky clean when he was done. He washed with such intensity that sure enough my kitchen turned into splash zone. Water, water, everywhere! On the counter, on the floor. I remember the nights I spent wiping down my whole kitchen after he left.
Sports Supplement Guzzler presented a whole new challenge. I suppose if your diet comprises exclusively of protein powder, meal replacement formula, nutrient supplement pills, and fresh fruit, “greasy dishes” is a foreign concept. I had to explain the importance of hot soapy water (no, lukewarm is not hot) and the virtue of scrubbing (no, waving the sponge over the plate doesn’t count). I did not expect to give dishwashing lesson to a 35 year old man.
Mr. Clean did awesome job with the dishes but caused me stress. Once I overheard him expressing disgust over his office kitchen’s dismal cleanliness. Before he visited, I made sure to polish the kitchen sink, put in a brand new scrubbing sponge, and fresh dishtowels. Every single time. I refused his visit many times because I could not muster up the energy to clean my house first.
You can say I have control issues in the kitchen. Or did I just uncover the real reason I’m single?
