Was it stupid of me to tell you of my priorities? I must say it is a resounding yes. However, I dont' want to be deceiving nor do I want to give you illusions. People often ask me why am I so certain of my priorites because after all, priorities can chanage over time. All I can say is, at this point in time, I cannot visualize in any forseeable future that I would change.
The reality of your decision hasn't hit me yet so I'm still living in that blissful void before I fully realize how much it hurts. It's not unlike that rush of adrenaline when I fall and can't feel the pain from the wounds yet. Perhaps I really shouldn't have told you...it would have been wonderful to bask in the warmth of a budding relationship for just a little longer. However, I know very well that it would simply be borrowed time and the inevitable moment will arrive when I break under the beating of my conscience. I do not want to mislead you.
Too much happened in this last weekend. The amazing time we spent together only made this recent change of event all the more difficult to bear. Stupid stupid me.