I don't live to please but things that my close friends and family say to me matter a lot to me. In recent times, some of these well-meaning comments and criticisms are causing me some confusion and I'm not sure what to make of them. I don't necessarily agree with all of them but I suppose they do reflect fragments of how they perceive me. Sometimes, my inner voice protests loudly with "you're not me, how can you possibly tell me what I am feeling?". At other times, my judgement whispers "perhaps they do know best with the perception of a unbiased observer".
Some comments are obviously harder to swallow than others. The voices stay in my head for months at times. I continously question myself am I upset by the comment because it is not true? Or perhaps because I cannot face up to any criticism? Or may be because it conflicts with my own more idealized perception? The person who made that comment, how well does he/she know me? How much is he/she aware of the entire situation? That is a lot of questions that just wouldn't go away.
All of these voices in my head culminated to a few resolutions that I made today. One of which is that I want to be a more likeable person. I do that by first being more judicious of what I say. Navel-gazing should be a private activity at best and honestly, nobody needs to be subjected to such boring details anyway.